I thought you might be interested in hearing some of my responses to some of the more unusual inquiries I've had as a result of my Craiglist postings, specifically concerning this lamp:
Found here.
Dear __________,
Thank you for your inquiry about the 1950's chalkware lamp. The lamp looks the way it does in the picture. It's the very same lamp! That's why I took a picture of it and posted it on Craigslist along with the description, so you could see what you were getting. I understand that you want to know if it looks like another lamp you may have met before, perhaps in another life, and I appreciate you sending me the link to the alleged lamp you feel my lamp has a connection to. Here's the thing: I don't want to click on that link! I don't want to see any porn, and I don't need another computer virus. I'm only interested in a hassle free, speedy Craigslist transaction. Will that work for you?
Dear __________,
Yes, the lamp is still available. If it was no longer available, I would have taken the ad down. I am a responsible, law abiding citizen guided by an overarching principle of integrity that touches everything I do. I appreciate you sharing your personal testimony about Jesus Christ and the wondrous work he has done in your life. You know, I feel like Jesus would have really liked this lamp. It's so incredibly special! It's blue, and soothing, and peaceful. It's in pretty good condition. It does need a good scrubbing though. Maybe if we both pray really hard, the Lord will clean it for us! I'm willing to give it a shot if you are!
Dear ___________,
Yes, the lamp is still available and yes, Windsor Park is the neighborhood where that mentally deranged man murdered his wife and lived with the body for 25 days. But that happened five streets over from us! The man is in a jail and will spend a lot of time locked up. So he won't bother us during this Craigslist transaction. Really, it's okay. If you come during the day, you'll be safe in this neighborhood! Just try to get here before 8:00 pm, okay? That is when it gets dark...
Dear ____________,
Thank you for your inquiry about the lamp. No, I don't want to take less money for it. I need that money! I'm thinking about driving down to Mexico to get my chipped tooth fixed. They do it real cheap down there and $25 just might cover it! I could also use some new socks. I might just go buy some booze! Either way, I've got big plans for that $25!
HAHA! Wow, you might just be my new favorite person :)
ReplyDeleteVery nice! Can you write my resume cover letter? :)
ReplyDeleteOMG YOU HAVE TO GET A GOLD TOOTH.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha!Thank you for the evening laugh.Oh people never cease to amaze me with stupid questions.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the scammer emails are even funnier than the legit ones. I opened one the other day that said, "I'd like for you to tell me the condition of the chair." I wrote back, "The chair is still in exactly the same condition it was when I described it in minute detail in my listing." Then he wrote back with the usual spiel about sending a cashier's check and having someone pick it up, but I loved his reason for not getting it himself. You see, he is in the military and he can't tell me where he is...because it would "hurt the secret of his mission." Gawd, where do these losers come from?
ReplyDeleteOh, by the way, I'm Dana from Fort Worth. Nice to meet more Texans who love mid-century.
Oh, my god- you are awesome!
ReplyDelete