You will need:
1 4-pack of Warsteiners (any tall cans of beer will do - try Lone Stars because you won't find Warsteiners easily I bet)
1 claw foot tub
1 copy of Led Zeppelin Presence on vinyl
1 full pack of smokes
2 towels (minimum)
1 maxi-family pack of cheese balls
1 chair, tub side
Fill tub whilst playing some other record.
Place books, smokes, lighter and towels on chair.
Wait until tub reaches perfect temperature.
Put needle on record. Remove clothes. Get in.
Consume 1/2 of first tall bot right away and then the other half. Not only will this start your buzz, but the empty can becomes your ashtray.
Light smoke. Read book. Use your right foot as an accelerator on the hot water tap like you're going through town. Then you snack:
Shovel 3 cheese balls from bag into mouth. Remember: You've got all the time in the world. You don't have to finish them. When Side One is done, dry hands so you can play Side Two and light second smoke. Repeat steps as necessary until 4 pack is gone.
Thank you, Tolan.